God loves me after all.

I dreamed of a white Christmas, and look what happened! It snowed!

Santa's snack plate,the note he left the kids and the tree.

Christmas jammies.

From December

Our sorry little gingerbread houses with runny icing. My kids are good sports. Although it's not too hard to have a good attitude about making a project where Mom says you can have as much candy as you want.

This is what we spend our days doing. Poor kid. I think he's getting used to it.

Notice Erilyn's "necklace." It's the net to our little basketball hoop. Anthon takes things apart, and Erilyn makes them into jewelry. Cooperation in action.

Anthon's class Christmas party.

Gettin' me some baby kisses.

Good job, Erilyn!

Reading with Daddy.

At an ice skating show. Erilyn LOVED it. And now asks constantly if she can have ice skates for Christrum.

Anthon "singing" with the primary at the ward Christmas party.

I love Tanner's face in this picture.

Texas weather...reminds me of Canada!

A few days ago...Canadians, eat your hearts out.

Christmas morning! Arizonans...eat your hearts out!

Note to self...

Erilyn came up to me a couple of days ago while I was feeding Tanner and said, matter of factly, "Mom, 'you don't feel well' means you don't have to go to Church.  So...I don't feel well."

Punk.

She also had a conversation with Kirk the other day that went something like this:

"Dad.  What does my shirt say?"
"It says, 'Your Highness."
"My highness?"
"No, 'Your Highness.'"
"My Highness?"
"No, 'Your Highness.'"
"Da-ad! What does my shirt SAY?"
"'Your Highness.'"
"My Highness?"

....you get the idea.

Last story...for now:

Erilyn was fighting me about putting a coat and shoes on to go outside and Kirk finally interrupted and said, "Just let her go out.  If she wants to be cold, let her."
Erilyn, "I DO want to be cold!" Okay.  Fine.
As she's headed out the back door, Kirk says to her, "I hope you have fun being cold!"
"I WILL!" she says. "I hope YOU have fun being warm." Sassy pants.

Domestic Bliss

Here are two slices from my afternoon.

Slice #1: Dinnertime

Clothes, stuffed animals, and toys are scattered throughout the house from our lazy morning and then subsequent scramble to get to church on time.  Tanner is lying on the floor on his back because he's very good at rolling from front to back but refuses to stay on his tummy long enough for some good solid tummy time and now that he's on his back, he can't reach the toys and so he's screaming.  Anthon and Erilyn are playing tag, or catch, or chase with Anthon "whipping" Erilyn with his scarf and yelling while Erilyn squeals with delight and runs frantically through the kitchen, Anthon right on her heels.  Some pop-Christmas songs are playing loudly in the background (The Forgotten Carols had played out, apparently).  I'm frantically trying to get the dishwasher loaded so I have enough room to make something for us to eat for dinner, though I don't yet know what.  And I'm not entirely sure where Kirk is.  All I know is he's not where I want him.

This is decidedly not my idea of domestic bliss, and certainly not a peaceful Sabbath Day.

Slice #2: After dinner/bedtime

The house is picked up, even vacuumed in places, the dishes are done, the kids are fed and I'm feeling okay with the fact that they ate cereal for dinner. Tanner is fed, changed, and happily swinging.  Kirk is listening to "beautiful music" (Josh Groban's Noel) and generally enjoying our company.  The kids are busily opening up candies in preparation for decorating gingerbread houses.  I'm contentedly building gingerbread houses (out of graham crackers), and not freaking out that the icing isn't working very well and that the poor houses look more like shacks that have been through a serious snow storm (the icing was dripping everywhere) than pretty little houses.  I break the news to the kids that we'll have to let the icing harden over night and decorate tomorrow.  They take it very well.  I'm amused that when I ask Erilyn to put her pajamas on, she comes back with a pull-up on, underwear, tights, more underwear (the kind that goes under a matching dress) and pajama bottoms and I smile at her fat little bottom. 

Ahh.  This is more like it. 

Talents

Kirk is reading a book with Anthon about kids who go to a special school because they have a "talent," or, to be more precise, a magical talent.  This afternoon, Kirk was teasing Anthon that he'd have to go to school on weekends and holidays if he didn't unload his rack on f the dishwasher, or some such chore, and Anthon said, "Like Blorr's Academy! But I don't have a talent."  Even though I knew he meant he didn't have magic, it got me thinking of my kids' talents, and, more specifically, mine.  I'm very good at many things.   (Side note--I love that my niece said that she was "feeling amazing about [her]self for not scorching the bottom" when talking about making her first chocolate pie--way to look on the bright side, Kins!).  I'm excellent at loving.  I'm very compassionate.  I'm not too bad of a writer.  I'm a very good reader and test taker.  I'm a good friend.  I'm a pretty good cook/baker.  I'm great at talking to my kids about the world around them and explaining things in a way they might understand.  I'm a spectacular hugger.  I think I'm pretty insightful, most of the time.  I have great instincts about things, and I've gotten a lot better at trusting those instincts.

One thing I'm not so good at, though, (Kirk would disagree, which I appreciate, just so that's on the record) is making a house feel cozy and homey.  Especially during holidays.  It always seems just half done, to me, or at least very amateur-ish.  Ideas?  What's the one thing that you feel makes your house a home?  Cozy and loving, functional and beautiful, warm and welcoming?

Personally, I think curtains and rugs are totally underrated (mostly because we don't have any yet).

My boys

Here are Tanner and Anthon at almost exactly the same age. I'm so in love!

Granted, I have cut Tanner's hair twice, and pretty much buzzed the sides and back because he rubbed it bald, but I've only trimmed the top and it's NO WHERE NEAR as glorious as Anthon's hair was at the same age. And Anthon's hair had been cut at least four times by this age. CRAZY! They're both just as drooly, though. Boys will be boys, I guess.

5 and 6 year old Kirk

My hubby was such a cute kiddo! 

Kirk was showing these pictures to Anthon today to show him what his daddy looked like at his age.  So I admit, my kids' cuteness doesn't all come from me.  :)

This too shall pass

I adore my children.  They bring so much joy into my life.  I have to say that, not only because it's true, but because what I'm about to admit will make it seem as if I don't. 

Today, they drove me crazy.  Anthon has this habit of saying everything twice, which is super annoying if you didn't want to hear it the first time.  He does it CONSTANTLY.  And Erilyn has gotten SO melodramatic.  I hear Kirk frequently singing, "It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine..."  I think it's his way of coping with her moodiness.  It's insane!  I'm usually better at dealing with it, but I was NOT good at it today.  I was literally ready to pull my hair out.  Bed time could not have come soon enough. 

Here's to hoping tomorrow will be better.  Or that I at least will be better able to deal with this phase (and it is a phase.  It HAS to be.)

Go Rudolph!

Anthon and I ran the one mile fun run at the Allen Rudolph Run yesterday. It was FREEZING! But we did it! I was proud of Anthon and his good attitude. We especially loved the hot chocolate afterward:)

This and that

Erilyn and Daddy playing with Tanner. He seemed to like it. I thought is was hilarious.

This is Tanner sleeping in the AMAZING cradle my dad built for him. I LOVE it. It's perfect. And Tanner loves to be rocked in it.

Erilyn fell asleep in the car one day while running errands and I nearly crashed a few times trying to help her up because I couldn't stand to see her sleeping like this. She flopped around like this for a while before I could safely reposition her.

A friend let me borrow this carrier and I LOVE it. Tanner loves to be held, and while I like my sling I made, this allows me to be completely hands free and it doesn't hurt my back to carry him like this. I love it! Here we're at the park.

Some things I love...

I love that Kirk makes the kids bark like seals and clap their hands before he'll put bits of cookie into their mouths. Or chirp like birdies.

I love that Erilyn says "prelly," for pretty.

I love that Tanner is a Mama's boy. He is SO comforted by me. I love this, and it exhausts me.

I love that Anthon's new favorite saying is, "Oh, come on!" This also annoys me.

I love how excited Kirk gets about sharing stories with Anthon. They've been listening together to a book on CD for the past two days. They sit, cuddled up on the couch, staring at the swirling light patterns on the TV screen while they listen to the story. It's cute, and mesmerizing.

I love how Erilyn likes to layer her clothes. At least she's wearing more than one outfit now, even though she wears them simultaneously.

I love this picture...(notice Erilyn's shoes. No matter how hard I try, I can NOT get her to consistently put her shoes on the right feet).

Sweet baby face

What the heck am I supposed to do with those cheeks besides kiss them?

My Girl.

This is Erilyn. Let me tell you a little bit about this girl.

What she is wearing is a typical outfit. Pajama shirt, preferrably long-sleeved, tights (the lower the crotch, the better, apparently), socks on top of the tights to cover the hole in the toe from wearing the tights so much, matching isn't required, and "tappin'" shoes. She wears this outfit, or a variation of this outfit (green socks, and a purple pajama shirt, for example), every day. Every Day. That is, she wore this outfit every day until I put my foot down last week. We picked out four outfits, put them into her top drawer, and forbade her from getting any clothes out of the other drawers (until I can seal them shut). She can pick any one of the outfits from the top drawer, but once she puts it on, she can't change ALL DAY LONG. This is a difficult concept to her. You might think, considering her basic uniform, that she doesn't have many options, but you'd be wrong. She changes AT LEAST seven times a day. It's the same general rotation, so those particular pajamas and socks are getting well worn, let alone the tights.

Yesterday, though she was wearing one of her all time favorite outfits, a yellow Belle sweatsuit (so cute), all I heard all day long was, "But Mommy! I don't like these pants anymore! I can please change?" She was very persistent, for a three year old already wearing her favorite clothes. I let her put her pajamas on an hour early, but otherwise I was firm, thank you very much.

Another thing about Erilyn is that she flits. Like a butterfly. She's never in your face, but she never leaves you alone either. She's beautiful, but sometimes you just want to shoo her away. She's always humming or singing something, and she's got some dance moves down pretty well, considering she's never had a dance class (unless you count "So You Think You Can Dance," which I don't). She still adores Anthon and seems pretty much lost with out him, which problem I'm trying to solve by playing with her myself, but how could I possibly replace Anthon as a playmate? I know. It's a lost cause. Especially when I have laundry to do.

She's getting pretty good at counting and learning her letters, though I'm not getting serious about teaching her until next fall. I still have to force her to color (she takes after me, unfortunately) and even this only works if she has a princess or otherwise extremely girly coloring book to work in. She loves books. Just about the cutest thing to me on the planet is to watch Anthon read to her. It's the sweetest thing and melts my heart every time.

Everyday she asks to play with friends. She has plenty, but unfortunately, she also has a Mom who is terrible at planning playdates.

She says things like "mooskit" (music) and "I like this one the much." and "backard" (backyard) and "Yer can do it, Mom" and "Daddy said so I can have some candy" and "Please you can hold me, Mommy?" and tells me that I'm "diving" (dieing) so that she can use our cool (real!) stethoscope (from Tanner's hospital days) to check my heart. 

She loves horses and kittens and riding her bike in the driveway. She can almost walk the whole half-mile to Anthon's school without needing a break, or a ride in the stroller with Tanner, but she has no problem running the entire way home chasing Anthon on his scooter. We chopped her hair "It looks better than I thought it would," (Kirk). She doesn't get scared when Kirk jumps out at us, even when Anthon and I are screaming at the top of our lungs, and she likes to pet fuzzy catipillars.

This is Erilyn. She's my girl.

10pm, and I'm going to bed.

Actually, I started the going to bed process at 8:48pm.  I was very tired after feeding Tanner and putting him to bed.  Off to the bedroom I go...and, walking past the computer, I got a bit sidetracked.  I decided to check the latest "leaked" version of Target's Black Friday ads to see if they have the pots and pans I want for sale.  They do, but Amazon has them cheaper.  Then, I wonder, do they have....?  And so you see why I'm still up.  The approaching Black Friday has me all aflutter. 

Now it's 10:06.  Bedtime.

Back in the saddle...er, running shoes.

I went running!  Well, running/walking really.  And it confirmed something that I strongly suspected: I'm WAY out of shape.  It felt good to get out there again, though.  I'm starting a training schedule for a race in February.  It's only a 10k, but at this point, I can honestly not believe this body ever ran a marathon, let alone two.  Baby steps, right?  It's been a killer year, so I'm cutting myself some slack.  Thanks, Kinsey, for the inspiration:)

Crazy...I know.

Why do I feel like I'm doing something wrong if I'm not suffering?  I know I'm here to be happy, and experience joy as well as pain, but for some reason, I start feeling guilty if I get too happy.  Knowing something, and understanding it are two very different things.  Right now, I'm working on coming to some kind of understanding with myself about happiness and beauty and their roles in my life. 

Any comments?

Today, I'm Ina.

I love to cook. And bake. I love to experiment, and try new recipes from all over the world. My problem is, how can you stay thin with all that good food around?! So, though I'm constantly striving to be a "Giada" (skinny cook), today, I'm definitely an "Ina" (a, well, the opposite.).

The pumpkin cookies with cinnamon glaze and the banana nut roll were calling too loudly; I could no longer resist them today.

At least I have friends and neighbors I can share them with!

It's official!

 

It's official!  Tanner was--finally--blessed on Sunday.  We felt so grateful to have Grandma and Grandpa make the trip for the occasion! We missed Grandma and Grandpa Schramm, who made the trip two months ago, but weren't able to come again for the blessing.  We love you both!

We also had some friends come: Taylor Willingham and Brad and Kaci Odell--friends from law school, as well as Kirk's childhood friend Nathan White and his father, Kirk's former bishop, Bruce White.  Thanks to all of you who made the effort to support us!  We love you!

And we LOVE Tanner!

The many faces of Tanner Lee Morgan