Bad night gone good

Last night started out normally enough.  Kirk and I spent the evening reading and talking like we usually do, and I headed to bed around 10:30. 

For the next four hours, it seemed, as soon as I would fall asleep, Kirk would start snoring and wake me up.  I finally asked him to sleep on the couch, which he did after warning me Erilyn was asleep on the floor next to me.  Fine.  Except, she was not asleep.  For the next two and half hours, I watched the clock and tried to convince Erilyn that it was indeed the middle of the night still and that she should go back to sleep.  Just as she started quieting down, in comes Kirk with Tanner, so I fed him while Kirk went back to bed...er...couch, and expected him to go right back to sleep as he usually does.  No such luck. 

Amazingly, this night of no sleep turned into a sweet, tender memory.  In the quiet of the night, I got to snuggle with my baby girl and talk to her and find out a little of what she thinks about.  Her whispered stories and soft little hugs brought me so much joy.

Because of this, when Kirk brought Tanner in, I welcomed him and was anxious to snuggle with this little one as well.  The quiet rhythm of his suck, swallow, breath seemed so sweet.  I was struck by the beauty of giving him life; of his complete trust and vulnerability; and I was overpowered by a sense of love for this sweet little guy. 

Instead of going back to sleep after he was done, he laid next to me smiling, with his little hand reaching out to touch my face.  I spent the next hour letting him touch my face and listening to his soft little coos and raspberries.  I couldn't get enough. Such a sweet night.