That is SOME. HOT. WEATHER.

Said Anthon as he walked in from jumping on the trampoline with Erilyn.  "Can we have a popsicle?"

"Hmmm...hot?  Really?"  I thought.  The Weather Channel says it's only 73 F, but when I went outside, sure enough.  The sun felt hot.

I happened to have a couple of popsicles in the freezer left over from summer, so I let the kids eat them.  But when they came in asking for more, and I told them we were out, they filled up cups with ice cubes to take out and crunch. 

I just have one thing to say about all this: IT'S JANUARY FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE!!!!!

The end.

The Plant That Lived

I just want to document this for future generations.
I do not kill all plants. This one lived. Or, is still living after a couple of weeks under my care.
You'll notice that I haven't even put it into a real pot yet because I just assumed it would die. But it hasn't! I have hope!
If I can keep this plant alive and well, Kirk might let me try again to grow a garden.
Keep your fingers crossed.

Things I love lately...

I love that Erilyn finds ways to play with four boys by being the dog that they sic on each other while they're hunting with nerf guns. 
I love watching Anthon read to Erilyn.
I love listening to Tanner babble.
I love watching Tanner try to be just like his big brother and sister.
I love when Anthon gives hugs and plays with Tanner.
I love watching Erilyn comfort Tanner.
I love that Tanner wants to feed himself and I'm grateful he does it pretty well.
I love quiet early mornings.
I love burning muscles.
I love soft hugs and kisses from Kirk.
I love Anthon's enthusiasm for learning.
I love Tanner's smile and sweet hugs and cuddles.
I love that Erilyn loves to be read to.
I love that the kids love to jump on the trampoline for hours at a time!
I love snow!
I love that Tanner loves to sleep.

Christmas Pictures

I was scanning through previous posts and realized I never posted any pictures from Christmas.  So I went back to our pictures to get some to post and realized I hardly took any.  Sigh.  Here's what I've got:

A family photo courtesy my nephew Brad--for our Christmas cards that are still sitting on my cupboard, haunting me.

My sweet Erilyn.  This is probably the best picture I have of her.  She has a knack for closing her eyes or moving right as the picture takes.  I love her smile! And she was SOOO excited about her curly hair that day.  She loves to have her hair done pretty, so I'm doing my best to learn!

Tanner almost immediately loved Brad.  So cute.

 Christmas eve dinner.  For some reason, I insisted on having fish.  Because that's the kind of food that Jesus ate, right?   With sweet potatoes and bread.  And olives.  And we read the nativity story.

 New jammies.  Erilyn's lasted two weeks before they had holes in the knees from being a kitty or a puppy all day every day.  Tanner's and Anthon's are still going strong.

 I'm still sad I cut off all that hair.  Hopefully it'll grow back curly again.  I loved it.

The stockings.

Everything else I have is on video.  The biggest hit by far was the trampoline.  And I love it as much as the kids do.  Anthon also got legos, which he LOVES, and a remote control helicopter.  Erilyn got FurReal pets with a little city they crawl around in and some jewelry making stuff.  Tanner got some wooden stacking toys, a tricycle, and some musical instruments.  We had a good Christmas.  Quiet, but good.  I like quiet.

And now it's almost my birthday...!

In the beginning...

We created a homeschool.  It was without chalkboards, desks, and a globe (sigh--the sigh is only about the globe, though.  I couldn't care less about the chalkboards and desks.), and the spirit of learning moved upon the house.  I said, let there be school!  And there was school.  And I saw the school that it was good.

Okay, okay.  That's as far as I can take it.  It's lucky that I'm not God!

Anyway.  It's official.  We have begun homeschooling!  I wish I would have taken a picture, but I forgot.  We still don't have all our books, but that's okay.  We started anyway.  I wasn't actually planning on starting today, because I haven't typed up my schedule yet, or the plan for the week (or day, as the case may be), and I need to get some books from the library, but Anthon kept asking if he could do some school, so I pulled some stuff out and let him get started.  I thought after one assignment, he'd be done. Not even close.  That was at 9:30 this morning and he's still asking for more work, at 2 in the afternoon.  We've taken a lot of breaks, of course, to jump on the trampoline, or have snacks.  But he keeps coming back.  And so does Erilyn.  Fun, fun!

I'm pretty naive, but not so naive as to think it'll be like this everyday.  It's a good start, though.

Hooray for not having to go to school at 7:30am!  And hooray for being able to do school in our jammies if we feel like it! (And today, I feel like it. It's been a long week.)  And hooray for recesses every half hour!  And hooray for being able to do your work while sitting on an exercise ball instead of a stiff chair!  And hooray for trampolines for P.E.!  And hooray for afternoons at the park with friends!

Hooray!

By the way...

An update on Project Simplify.  It went well.  I did such a great job at cutting out unnecessary things so I could spend more time enjoying Christmas, that you'll notice you have not received a Christmas card from us yet.  And may not at all.

We'll see how Project Simplify continues on into the New Year:)

Maybe we'll do a Happy New Year card... or a Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day card...or...well, we'll just see where this week takes us.

2011

Kirk insists that we all call it twenty-eleven.  We are NOT, under ANY circumstances, allowed to call it two thousand eleven.  It's funny.  I'm not sure why he feels this strongly about it, but it's funny.

So.  For 2011 (twenty eleven), I have great hopes.  I recently read a friends' blog who says she doesn't do goals for New Year's because she never completes them.  She's constantly re-evaluating and changing priorities.

Seriously?!  Why haven't I thought of this before?  Something I've been thinking a lot about lately is how I'm loving being 30.  For whatever reason, it has awakened in me such an amazing sense of self awareness that I wouldn't trade for anything.  And what I'm becoming more and more aware about are the things I'm good at, and the things I'm bad at.  This may seem obvious to you.  About yourself and probably about me, too.  But I've been clueless.

One maybe not so good thing about me is that I've always been governed by "supposed to," or "should."  I  made myself feel whatever I thought I was supposed to feel in that situation.  Or what I thought others' thought I was supposed to feel. And this got in the way of me seeing myself and being myself. I've always done what I should do, or what I thought I should do, or what I thought others thought I should do.

And let's face it.  When a new year rolls around, you're supposed to make New Year's Resolutions.  Right?  WRONG!!!  Who says?  I don't know.  But not me....anymore.  NO NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS FOR ME!

Why?

Because, like my friend, my priorities change, or my circumstances change, or my attitude changes, and suddenly, what I thought was worth spending a whole year trying to accomplish on January 1st, somehow now seems ridiculous or irrelevant.  So I don't finish the goal.  And then I feel like a failure.

This year I'm avoiding all the negativity, and trying to get a grasp on the big picture.  Where am I in my journey through life?  Where do I want to be? What's important to me now? What dreams do I have?  What visions do I have for my family?  What hopes? What parts of me could use a little nurturing and growth? How can I acknowledge the good in me and in my family?  THESE are the things that have been occupying my mind lately.

In 2011, I see our family coming out of a hard, hard time.  I see me growing, getting stronger, and yet getting more malleable, as well.  I see our home become filled with love and happiness.  Even more so than now.  And peace.  I see peace in my future. Ahhh....peace.

How can I express how deeply I yearn for peace without getting too personal and weepy? I'm not sure that I can.  The past couple of years have been filled with anxiety, uncertainty, and stress.  I look back and I see periods of growth, and sincerity, and love, and light.  But those moments flash bright in an otherwise long, dark period of frustration, anger, and self-pity.

I've learned about myself that my perfectionism can be destructive.  That my need to plan and over plan can place unreasonable expectations on my self, and on everyone around me. I've learned that God has a plan for me, whether I want to know what it is or not.  I've learned that if I watch, that if I look and pay attention, I can really see where He has stepped into my life and guided me, helped me, comforted me though I railed against Him, and loved me.  This is humbling.

So this year, I seek peace.  I want to stop doing what I'm supposed to do just because I'm supposed to do it, and start listening to my heart, my soul.

Someone once told me that I have good instincts, and to stop getting in the way of them.

This is the year I follow my instincts.  As a mother.  As a wife.  As a woman. As a friend. And forget all that I've read, all I've been told, all that I've thought, all my preconceived notions, all my "supposed tos" and "shoulds" and trust my inner voice.  Make my own choices.  Find my own path.  Steer my own course.

It's going to be a good, good year!