I've become addicted to reading other people's blogs. There are so many amazing women out there who create beautiful and unique homes, who are so talented in artsy things, who are clever or entrepreneur-y, and who capture their day-to-day lives in a lovely and enviable way.
I'm hooked.
But, while it's inspiring in small doses, I've begun to realize that, in large quantities, this kind of reading is detrimental for me. I become moody and depressed and focused on what I don't have, and what my talents are not, instead of being grateful for my many blessings and talents.
I really wish I was crafty. That I could design, build, and decorate a functional, beautiful laundry room with only a few hundred dollars. Or that I could whip up a cute gift for a friend out of an old herbal tea tin, some scrapbook paper, and home-made candy. Here's where it gets brutal: I could do these things, given enough time and/or money. But, if I'm really honest with myself, I realize I'm unwilling to do these things because they do not come naturally to me and would require an inordinate amount of time/money which 1. I don't want to give or 2. I don't have to give.
One of the blogs I read recently was from a friend and woman I really admire, and she recently came to a similar realization. Based on the idea that I am my childrens' home, and my husband's, and given what I have to work with, I'm doing an amazing job.
I also do not believe life should be easy, or perfect. My living room does not need to be spotless before I can take a picture of it. I do not need to decorate my walls before I have friends over. My grout does not need to be scrubbed before we have a party. I don't have to have lost all my baby weight before I go swimming. And I do not have to be perfect today. Or tomorrow. I'm working on it. And I'm doing my best to be patient, to take opportunities for growth, to demonstrate faith and self-reliance, and to be a positive, optimistic person in the face of adversity. The truth is, I'm enormously blessed. My children are beautiful, happy, intelligent, fun, good, and healthy. My husband is supportive, optimistic, realistic, adoring, and my best friend. Given all the options out there, including those I once thought I'd prefer, I'll stick with what I've got, thank you very much.
Let's be honest. It's not perfect. But it's perfect for me.
