Morgan Family Memories

My Olympians

2011-11-20T22:23:00.001-06:00

Anthon just finished the Percy Jackson series. I checked out The Demigod Files for him from our library and now he's teaching Erilyn about all the Greek Gods and they've been outside on the trampoline for DAYS playing Greek Gods and Demigods. (This may seem like hyperbole, but its probably more accurate than I'd like to admit...I've had a stomach flu the last few days and I can't be totally sure where my children have actually been the whole time!)

I overheard Anthon tell Erilyn, "No, Erilyn. I'm absolutely sure Poseidon is NOT a whale. He's in charge of the whales, and everything else in the water."

I love good books.

I love me some Tanner

2011-11-20T22:08:00.001-06:00

Tanner started out as the sweetest, cuddliest, cutest little baby you could imagine. Seriously. If all babies were like Tanner was, everyone would have 10 at least. So cute and so easy.

Then he turned 2.

Now he's sassy and opinionated, but just as cute, so I have a serious problem.

For instance, last night, Kirk went in to get Tanner out of the bath, and he told Kirk to go away. So Kirk gave him a few more minutes, and then went back to get him out of the bath, but Tanner told him to go away. This happened several times before Kirk finally just took him out of the bath, and the look on Tanner's face was just priceless. Deadly, but priceless. That kid can glare with the best of them.

He's just so loveable, though. Tonight, I turned on a Netflix show to distract me from the mountains of laundry I needed to fold after days and days of sickness and Tanner heard it and came out of his room. When I told him he needed to go back to bed, he said, "Oh-KAY-yah" like the sassy pants that he is, but he turned around, went back into his room and shut the door, and for a moment I thought, "Amazing! He actually just went right back to bed!" but then he started this sweet little wimper that I couldn't ignore and we cuddled for a while. How can I resist? I love the way he feels all curled up in my lap. I'll be sad when he gets too big for that.

About half an hour later, I could hear him driving his cars on the walls so I went in to tell him to put his cars away and found him curled up back to back with Anthon, in Anthon's bed, with Anthon sound asleep. And, while I think it's absolutely adorable that he crawls into Anthon's bed (on a regular basis--Anthon wins best brother of the year for putting up with it night after night, especially since Tanner doesn't go to sleep once there; he drives his cars on the walls...or Anthon's back) I told him he had to get back in his own bed to which he promptly shook his head and said "no." while giving me some serious glare action. I insisted, and once he realized I meant business, he looked at me with those huge blue eyes and all the curly messy hair and the sweetness only a baby can muster and he said, "Lap?"

So we cuddled in the rocking chair for a while.

He gets me every time.

Here are some pics of the little munchkin...enjoy!

Cuddling in the chair.

So excited about the kitty!

Still lovin' those slides.

He ADORES dogs. Any animal really.

5 minutes and counting...

2011-10-13T18:19:00.000-05:00

I have five minutes before I need to be out the door and driving away to take Anthon to gymnastics. I figured, what better time to catch up on the blog I haven't posted anything on in over six months?

This is a perfect example of how great my timing is and always has been.

I can't tell you how many times in the past month I've thought "Oh, I need to blog that..." because I lost count at four thousand and sixty two, but I've always stopped myself because what about the past six months? Am I supposed to just pretend I didn't entirely skip them? But if I wait until I catch up on everything I've missed before I start posting about every day type stuff, I'll never start. Period.

So I'm starting with this rather pointless post. But it is a post. And stay tuned, because there's more coming.

Gotta go.

Sewing with kids

2011-03-14T12:18:00.001-05:00

I feel a little presumptuous trying to teach anyone how to sew, really. I can do the basics, but I, by no means, am an expert. For small children, however, who have never before done any sewing, I felt comfortable being the one "in the know."

We've been studying ancient civilizations for history, and we recently learned that hunters would sometimes have little bags made out of animal skins that held rocks, twigs, etc. for playing games on their hunting expeditions. So, of course, we made hunting game bags. I was not about to sew a bag out of leather, so we did the next best thing, we used animal print fabric.

The kids helped measure, cut, and pin the bags. I sewed them and they played with them non-stop for days. They went on countless hunting expeditions. They slew horses (using Erilyn's giant stuffed horse as the target), imaginary bison, wooly mammoths, and stuffed cats who were stand-ins for saber-toothed cats, or smyladons. They crafted themselves some bows and arrows with sticks and elastics for their hunting trips. The funniest thing of all, though, was when I heard Anthon choking a mouse (his stuffed mouse) to death, making choking noises to make it more real. When I laughed out loud, Anthon looked up at me with genuine interest and said, "what are you laughing at Mom?" Since it was inconceivable that his hunting antics could be construed as amusing. It's a serious business to provide for your family, after all.

Fun times.

Here they are on their latest hunting expedition (notice the slain horse in the background of Erilyn's picture.)

Tanner with swords and guns--ignore my obnoxious giggling

2011-02-14T21:26:00.000-06:00

Tanner lately...

2011-02-13T22:50:00.002-06:00

My baby is in nursery. This is such a cute age. And hard. He's getting very opinionated about things, and SOOO curious about everything. He's also in the copying stage, so he's always copying whatever we're doing. He'll put lotion on his face while he watches me get ready in the morning, he helps the kids with their jobs. He copies everything, really.

Here he's helping Erilyn dust the bookshelves.

Here he's reading with the big kids.

Here he's lamenting the fact that the big kids get to play outside in the snow and Mom won't let him out. Notice the stool.

Here he's cuddling with Erilyn while they watch Baby Songs. (This one was really cute; until I came around the corner with the camera, Tanner had his head on Erilyn's shoulder, and her head was resting on his. So cute!)

And here he's so proud of himself for climbing up onto the table with the other kids while they stare zombie like at the TV. They really don't watch that much TV, but it's a good time to catch them when they're still, I guess. Anyway--toddlers are cute.

Science experiment

2011-02-13T22:45:00.001-06:00

This is precisely why I love homeschooling. It's hard, it takes a lot of extra time and energy on my part, but you should have seen Erilyn's face when we did this science experiment!

We were talking about properties of water.

When I told her we were going to do a science experiment, you could literally see her thinking, "Say what? How long till it's over and I can go play kitties again?" But she tried to be a good sport about it.

First, you do the trick of putting some cardboard on top of a really full jar of water and then flipping it over. Ta dah! The water doesn't spill out!

Her eyes literally go twice as big as normal. She immediately said, "Do it again, Mom!" Ahh....the joys of seeing your child get excited about learning.

So we did that a few more times, and they each tried it.

Then, you put hot HOT water in one jar, color it red, and then cold COLD water in the other jar, and color it something different. Do the fancy trick with the cardboard, and then put the cold jar of water on top of the hot jar of water. Carefully pull the piece of cardboard out, and watch what happens to the water. (The colors mix. Predictable. And not that interesting. Unless you like mixed colors.)

But THEN! You do it again, with the hot jar on top and the cold jar on the bottom. Pull out the cardboard, and the colors don't mix!!! Again, Erilyn was amazed. Anthon was too, but I knew he would be. This is right up his alley. We had to do it about 4 thousand more times. We learned that hot likes to be on top and won't mix if it's already on top. But if it starts out on the bottom, it races to be on top as fast as it can. Same with air.

You can't really tell from the pictures, but they loved it. So fun.

Reading buddies

2011-02-13T22:35:00.003-06:00

For homeschool, I'm making Anthon practice reading out loud. He reads too fast in his head, and he just skips over words. Reading out loud helps him slow down, practice being animated, and forces him to pronounce words. Plus, it's great sibling time. And Erilyn loves it. (Anthon does too, but he has to pretend not to. See "Cool Brother Code sec. 2 item 24")

Here's what we're loving lately. So fun.

Cooking with Tanner

2011-02-13T22:31:00.002-06:00

Tanner loves to cook. He's already discovered, of course, that he can carry around his stool anywhere and immediately be able to see and do things he's never seen or done before. He has two stools, one big and one small. Actually, niether stool is really his, but you try to tell him that. The small one is handy for around the house stuff. Turning on and off the TV, for example. Or, even better, the Wii or Xbox while the kids are playing a game. Or for finding books on those hard to reach shelves. It's light, and easy to carry. But for jobs where height is really important, he uses his kitchen stool. It puts him at precisely the right height for "helping" with every day cooking chores. He's becoming an accomplished stirrer, a competent scooper, an excellent licker, and the best ever mess maker.

He loves it thought. LOVES it. Anytime I even go into the kitchen, or open a cupboard, he comes running--running--from wherever he is in the house, finds his stool (and if I've locked it up in the pantry to prevent this very thing from happening, he goes to the table and gets a chair. Stinker.), pushes it up to the counter and looks at me like, "Okay, Mom! What are we cookin' today? And where's my spoon?"

I can't resist.

It's lucky I have a broom.

And then this happened...

2011-02-06T21:27:00.002-06:00

I'm sure you are all aware of the super storm that has dumped a boat load of snow across the American Midwest. Apparently, that includes Texas, though I'd call us the Southwest. Anywho, we got dumped on. And iced. But first, iced.

First we had some hot weather, you might recall, and then we had a good ol' Texan rainstorm. Then it froze, and Texas shut down. We were all iced in. Seriously. I could never grasp this concept of an ice storm until I moved here. We had 2-3 inches of ice covering everything. People couldn't even open their garage doors, let alone drive their cars anywhere. I was glad we are well stocked in the food department, because if we weren't, we would have been SOL, as my dad likes to say. Kirk didn't even have to go to work! I still didn't see him, though. He was studying.

The kids spent that day skating on our back patio. Fun times.

Then it snowed. And none of this little fairy dust stuff. It snowed big, fat, white chunks for a full night and day! We had nearly 8 inches of snow on our trampoline. So the kids spent that day doing snow angels, having snow throwing contests, eating snow and icicles, and getting soaked and frozen since we don't really have the proper outerwear for this kind of weather. (We live in TEXAS for heaven's sake!) The kids toughed it out, though.

Notice the 6 or more inches on the trampoline and fence, and it's still coming down! Love those fat, fluffy flakes.

I thought about trying to go sledding, but when I took into consideration our abysmal outerwear situation, and the fact that there are no hills nearby and impassible roads, as well as the fact that they don't even sell snow boots here, let alone sleds, we decided to stay home and play in our own backyard. It's a shame, though, really. Sledding is one of the few great joys of winter.

Kirk teased Anthon about the fact that he had more school last week than all his friends did, since school was canceled for the whole week! Crazy. It was kind of a bummer, though, thinking about all of Anthon's friends who were home during the day, but we couldn't play with them because we were snowed/iced in.

It's all mostly melted now, though it's supposed to snow/sleet on us again in the next few days. We have errands to do tomorrow, though, so I'm hoping it'll hold off until Tuesday at least.

Happy Winter!

That is SOME. HOT. WEATHER.

2011-01-29T14:26:00.001-06:00

Said Anthon as he walked in from jumping on the trampoline with Erilyn. "Can we have a popsicle?"

"Hmmm...hot? Really?" I thought. The Weather Channel says it's only 73 F, but when I went outside, sure enough. The sun felt hot.

I happened to have a couple of popsicles in the freezer left over from summer, so I let the kids eat them. But when they came in asking for more, and I told them we were out, they filled up cups with ice cubes to take out and crunch.

I just have one thing to say about all this: IT'S JANUARY FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE!!!!!

The end.

The Plant That Lived

2011-01-16T16:47:00.001-06:00

I just want to document this for future generations.
I do not kill all plants. This one lived. Or, is still living after a couple of weeks under my care.
You'll notice that I haven't even put it into a real pot yet because I just assumed it would die. But it hasn't! I have hope!
If I can keep this plant alive and well, Kirk might let me try again to grow a garden.
Keep your fingers crossed.

Things I love lately...

2011-01-16T16:39:00.000-06:00

I love that Erilyn finds ways to play with four boys by being the dog that they sic on each other while they're hunting with nerf guns.
I love watching Anthon read to Erilyn.
I love listening to Tanner babble.
I love watching Tanner try to be just like his big brother and sister.
I love when Anthon gives hugs and plays with Tanner.
I love watching Erilyn comfort Tanner.
I love that Tanner wants to feed himself and I'm grateful he does it pretty well.
I love quiet early mornings.
I love burning muscles.
I love soft hugs and kisses from Kirk.
I love Anthon's enthusiasm for learning.
I love Tanner's smile and sweet hugs and cuddles.
I love that Erilyn loves to be read to.
I love that the kids love to jump on the trampoline for hours at a time!
I love snow!
I love that Tanner loves to sleep.

Christmas Pictures

2011-01-16T15:53:00.001-06:00

I was scanning through previous posts and realized I never posted any pictures from Christmas. So I went back to our pictures to get some to post and realized I hardly took any. Sigh. Here's what I've got:

A family photo courtesy my nephew Brad--for our Christmas cards that are still sitting on my cupboard, haunting me.

My sweet Erilyn. This is probably the best picture I have of her. She has a knack for closing her eyes or moving right as the picture takes. I love her smile! And she was SOOO excited about her curly hair that day. She loves to have her hair done pretty, so I'm doing my best to learn!

Tanner almost immediately loved Brad. So cute.

Christmas eve dinner. For some reason, I insisted on having fish. Because that's the kind of food that Jesus ate, right? With sweet potatoes and bread. And olives. And we read the nativity story.

New jammies. Erilyn's lasted two weeks before they had holes in the knees from being a kitty or a puppy all day every day. Tanner's and Anthon's are still going strong.

I'm still sad I cut off all that hair. Hopefully it'll grow back curly again. I loved it.

The stockings.

Everything else I have is on video. The biggest hit by far was the trampoline. And I love it as much as the kids do. Anthon also got legos, which he LOVES, and a remote control helicopter. Erilyn got FurReal pets with a little city they crawl around in and some jewelry making stuff. Tanner got some wooden stacking toys, a tricycle, and some musical instruments. We had a good Christmas. Quiet, but good. I like quiet.

And now it's almost my birthday...!

In the beginning...

2011-01-07T14:05:00.001-06:00

We created a homeschool. It was without chalkboards, desks, and a globe (sigh--the sigh is only about the globe, though. I couldn't care less about the chalkboards and desks.), and the spirit of learning moved upon the house. I said, let there be school! And there was school. And I saw the school that it was good.

Okay, okay. That's as far as I can take it. It's lucky that I'm not God!

Anyway. It's official. We have begun homeschooling! I wish I would have taken a picture, but I forgot. We still don't have all our books, but that's okay. We started anyway. I wasn't actually planning on starting today, because I haven't typed up my schedule yet, or the plan for the week (or day, as the case may be), and I need to get some books from the library, but Anthon kept asking if he could do some school, so I pulled some stuff out and let him get started. I thought after one assignment, he'd be done. Not even close. That was at 9:30 this morning and he's still asking for more work, at 2 in the afternoon. We've taken a lot of breaks, of course, to jump on the trampoline, or have snacks. But he keeps coming back. And so does Erilyn. Fun, fun!

I'm pretty naive, but not so naive as to think it'll be like this everyday. It's a good start, though.

Hooray for not having to go to school at 7:30am! And hooray for being able to do school in our jammies if we feel like it! (And today, I feel like it. It's been a long week.) And hooray for recesses every half hour! And hooray for being able to do your work while sitting on an exercise ball instead of a stiff chair! And hooray for trampolines for P.E.! And hooray for afternoons at the park with friends!

Hooray!

By the way...

2011-01-04T23:29:00.001-06:00

An update on Project Simplify. It went well. I did such a great job at cutting out unnecessary things so I could spend more time enjoying Christmas, that you'll notice you have not received a Christmas card from us yet. And may not at all.

We'll see how Project Simplify continues on into the New Year:)

Maybe we'll do a Happy New Year card... or a Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day card...or...well, we'll just see where this week takes us.

2011

2011-01-04T23:03:00.002-06:00

Kirk insists that we all call it twenty-eleven. We are NOT, under ANY circumstances, allowed to call it two thousand eleven. It's funny. I'm not sure why he feels this strongly about it, but it's funny.

So. For 2011 (twenty eleven), I have great hopes. I recently read a friends' blog who says she doesn't do goals for New Year's because she never completes them. She's constantly re-evaluating and changing priorities.

Seriously?! Why haven't I thought of this before? Something I've been thinking a lot about lately is how I'm loving being 30. For whatever reason, it has awakened in me such an amazing sense of self awareness that I wouldn't trade for anything. And what I'm becoming more and more aware about are the things I'm good at, and the things I'm bad at. This may seem obvious to you. About yourself and probably about me, too. But I've been clueless.

One maybe not so good thing about me is that I've always been governed by "supposed to," or "should." I made myself feel whatever I thought I was supposed to feel in that situation. Or what I thought others' thought I was supposed to feel. And this got in the way of me seeing myself and being myself. I've always done what I should do, or what I thought I should do, or what I thought others thought I should do.

And let's face it. When a new year rolls around, you're supposed to make New Year's Resolutions. Right? WRONG!!! Who says? I don't know. But not me....anymore. NO NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS FOR ME!

Why?

Because, like my friend, my priorities change, or my circumstances change, or my attitude changes, and suddenly, what I thought was worth spending a whole year trying to accomplish on January 1st, somehow now seems ridiculous or irrelevant. So I don't finish the goal. And then I feel like a failure.

This year I'm avoiding all the negativity, and trying to get a grasp on the big picture. Where am I in my journey through life? Where do I want to be? What's important to me now? What dreams do I have? What visions do I have for my family? What hopes? What parts of me could use a little nurturing and growth? How can I acknowledge the good in me and in my family? THESE are the things that have been occupying my mind lately.

In 2011, I see our family coming out of a hard, hard time. I see me growing, getting stronger, and yet getting more malleable, as well. I see our home become filled with love and happiness. Even more so than now. And peace. I see peace in my future. Ahhh....peace.

How can I express how deeply I yearn for peace without getting too personal and weepy? I'm not sure that I can. The past couple of years have been filled with anxiety, uncertainty, and stress. I look back and I see periods of growth, and sincerity, and love, and light. But those moments flash bright in an otherwise long, dark period of frustration, anger, and self-pity.

I've learned about myself that my perfectionism can be destructive. That my need to plan and over plan can place unreasonable expectations on my self, and on everyone around me. I've learned that God has a plan for me, whether I want to know what it is or not. I've learned that if I watch, that if I look and pay attention, I can really see where He has stepped into my life and guided me, helped me, comforted me though I railed against Him, and loved me. This is humbling.

So this year, I seek peace. I want to stop doing what I'm supposed to do just because I'm supposed to do it, and start listening to my heart, my soul.

Someone once told me that I have good instincts, and to stop getting in the way of them.

This is the year I follow my instincts. As a mother. As a wife. As a woman. As a friend. And forget all that I've read, all I've been told, all that I've thought, all my preconceived notions, all my "supposed tos" and "shoulds" and trust my inner voice. Make my own choices. Find my own path. Steer my own course.

It's going to be a good, good year!

Project Simplify: A little hiccup

2010-12-20T12:30:00.001-06:00

I thought it'd be a great idea to make pine cone ornaments.

I still haven't sent out Christmas cards.

I entered the wrong shipping address for one of our gifts.

Due to a four hour Primary Presidency meeting last night, our neighbor gifts still haven't been delivered, and we missed our 12 Days delivery last night.

BUT, all my shopping and shipping is finished (except that one that's going to who knows where; haven't figured out what to do about that yet). Really all that's left is wrapping and baking. The fun stuff. Oh, and those pesky Christmas cards. Grrrr.

I relapsed yesterday into thinking about homeschooling organizational stuff. But, I've repented and am thinking of it no more.

5 Days until Christmas!

The Grinch has come

2010-12-20T12:22:00.001-06:00

As I write this, Anthon is on his way to tattle on Erilyn. Erilyn is screaming at the top of her lungs, and Tanner has been rudely woken up from his nap.

This morning some evil thing has swept through my house and turned my normally sweet and happy children into total monsters. They have been fighting with each other and with me all morning long. I'm exhausted. At the end of my rope. And it's only noon. And Tanner just woke up--two hours too early.

And our only car is in the shop when I have last minute errands to run.

ARGH!!!!

Deep breath. 1....2....3....4....

Okay. I can do this.

Merry Christmas!

Christmas decorating

2010-12-14T23:07:00.001-06:00

Okay. If you know me well enought to be reading this blog, then you probably know that decorating is NOT one of my talents. I have no vision for it whatsoever. NONE. For the sake of my family, though, I'm trying.

Here's what I did this Christmas:

I made the wreath (bought the wreath and bow and put the bow on the wreath. Done. So clever, I know.)
I painted the letters J-O-Y (just don't look too closely, please.)
I redid the bow on my BELIEVE glass block from red to gold, put nuts and a candle in a tall glass vase and put a bow on it.
And--here's the big one--I made new stockings.
Our stockings were mismatched and ugly. What I really wanted were the cable knit stockings from Pottery Barn, but who wants to spend $30 on a stocking? And no one else had any that were similar. SOOO, I made them. I bought some sweaters at a thrift store, cut them up, lined them with fleece, and sewed them into stockings.

I must stay, I'm feeling pretty darn good about myself. Honestly, I was impressed. I think they turned out pretty well, and I was totally flying by the seat of my pants on that one. No pattern, no tutorial, no anything but a picture and an idea. None of them are exactly the same shape, but...who cares? They are cozy and soft and (almost) exactly what I wanted for less than 1/4th the price. Sweet.

Something's still not quite right about that candle in the vase...but I don't have any mental energy left to figure it out or fix it. Maybe next year.

These very simple projects took an embarrasing amount of time and energy. I have to work hard, REALLY hard, at any kind of decorating. What can I say...I love my kids?!

Project Simplify--Update

2010-12-14T22:45:00.001-06:00

We're doing pretty well.

The teacher's gifts are done. Well, the kids haven't wrapped them yet, but it'll get done before Friday, for sure. We're giving the kids' Church teachers a 6-pack of Sprite and a box of popcorn with a little note that says: "Pop, pop, fizz, fizz: Oh what a great teacher you is!" I know. I know. So cheesy. I got the idea from one of my BYU Bishop's wife. Cheesy can be cute, coming from a kid, right?! For school teachers, I bought some fancy cookies, and then gathered up some supplies from around the house that were on their "classroom wish lists:" file folders, address labels, books etc. Should be good.

I have (almost) all the neighbor gifts done. I ran out of supplies. I made a "Santa's trail mix" with red and green M&Ms, Golden Grahams, white fudge pretzels, and chocolate covered raisins. It's pretty good. Anyway, put 2-3 cups in a treat bag, tied with a cute bow, and attached a little card with a map and "Santa's Trail Mix: He's headed your way!" on one side, and "Merry Christmas! From the Morgans" on the other. The cards and the bags are ready, but I need to throw some more mix together and then we can deliver.

I've also started with all the Christmas baking. The kids love to help, and my house smells scrumptious. Fun fun.

I've set up a corner in the office for gift wrapping and I've started wrapping several gifts every night, so I don't have so many to do on Christmas Eve. Some of my friends have all their shopping and wrapping done by Dec. 1st, but that's just not me.

I've prohibited myself from thinking about homeschooling stuff until after Christmas. Then I can go crazy. So far, it's working and it's extremely liberating.

I canned our daily activity countdown. I had collected, emptied, and decorated little matchboxes and printed off an activity for every day in December up until Christmas. Every night, one of the kids could open the box for that day and see what we were going to do the next day. It wasn't working. Looking back, we've done pretty much everything that was on the list, but I can't be nailed down on the day. I have to be flexible about when to do things, and when the kids are expecting something and it doesn't quite work out, everyone's bummed. So, I've posted my list up by my calendar, and we keep doing stuff when we can, and now that the pressure is off, I'm having a lot more fun. Very good.

Three nights in a row, now, I've sat by the tree, soaking in the lights and the Christmas spirit. Awesome!

So far, project simplify is running smoothly.

Feeding jungle animals

2010-12-14T22:07:00.001-06:00

In the car today, during our marathon errand-running trip, I gave Erilyn some beef jerky as a snack. The following conversation ensued:

E--Is this what lions eat?
S--Something like that, yes.
E--Well, next time I go to the jungle, I want to feed this to the lions. It's so yummy.
S--Yes, beef jerky is very yummy.
E--They'll probably lick me.
S--Probably. You're pretty yummy, too.

I didn't have the heart to tell her that lions don't live in the jungle.

She'll learn soon enough.

Conversations with a four year old

2010-12-14T22:04:00.001-06:00

Today, in the check out line at Dick's Sporting Goods, Erilyn and I had a fascinating conversation that went something like this:

Erilyn--Mom. Reindeer can fly, but they don't have wings.
Sonja--You're right. How do you think they do it?
E--(quietly thinking)
S--Maybe they have jet packs in their hooves.
E--(somewhat indignant) No, Mom.
S--So how, then? Magic?
E--Yes. It's just magic.
S--Wouldn't it be fun to ride a reindeer while it's flying?!
E--Yes! Just like a pegasus! (Lightbulb moment) MOM!! Reindeer and pegasuses are the same except pegasuses have wings and reidneer don't!
S--You're right. And reindeer have antlers, but peguses have horns, like unicorns. Do you think unicorns can fly?
E--Yup. But they don't have wings.
S--So how do they fly?
E--Mo-om. Magic!
S--Oh. Of course.

It was about this time that I realized everyone in the checkout line was listening to our conversation and smiling. We payed for our stuff and went about our way, business as usual. Because, when you have a four year old girl, these kinds of conversations are business as usual.

A million random things...

2010-12-09T22:11:00.001-06:00

I give up. My brain is fried. WARNING: too much information comin' your way. And, I'll probably regret this over sharing tomorrow.

But I'm so tired! I know everyone is busy. It's Christmas time and there's lots going on. I get it. But I'm stressed and I'm not enjoying it.

I finally got to the gym today, for the first time in 3 weeks, and I'm STILL in my sweaty stinky clothes, 14 hours later. I literally haven't had a spare minute to shower. The worst thing about this is that it's TYPICAL for me! Something's gotta give.

Part of it is that I'm trying to get ready to start homeschooling in January. December is just busy. My husband has two jobs and is never home. And Primary is crazy trying to get ready for next year.

But also, my downfall has always been that I'm interested in everything, I want to be good at everything, I want to DO everything and BE everywhere, read everything, talk to everyone, and get everything done. I love to cook/bake, so I have glorious plans for Christmas food. Because I'm too stressed, probably none of it will happen. I like to give handmade gifts, so I have plans to MAKE gifts for friends, neighbors, teachers, and grandparents. Not going to happen. I want to make cute Christmas cards and make each one individualized and sweet and witty and homemade. NEVER going to happen. This is, by the way, why none of you has received a Christmas card the last several years. I'm a perfectionist, and I won't do something until I can do it the way I want to. So, I end up not doing a lot of things. I'm seriously debilitated! As part of our Christmas countdown, I printed up an activity for every day up until Christmas and put each one in a little decorated matchbox that we open every night. We're already behind. (The matchboxes are cute, though.) But I'm stressed about the things we're not doing, so then the time that I AM spending with my kids, I'm stressed out and not enjoying.

I have to stop this.

It's time to simplify.

Sorry friends, neighbors and teachers, NO handmade gifts.

Christmas cards will be sent, but they won't be cute or individualized, and probably not witty. (AHHHH! Not sure if I can handle this one).

And I'm finally going to turn the Christmas shopping over to Kirk, which he said two weeks ago that he'd do, but that I haven't given him a chance to do. It's all yours babe. I'm outtie.

I haven't even looked at my Christmas binder, so it's time to hit the book and get organized.

Okay. I'm slightly relieved....and cringing just a bit.

I can do it. I can do it.

Time to take a warm shower and sit with hot cocoa admiring my Christmas tree lights.

And breath.

And go to bed before 1am tonight.

Wish me luck.

November

2010-12-04T23:49:00.001-06:00

In a nut shell:

Here's Tanner playing outside in the middle of November. Totally bundled up because it was pretty chilly. 50s, probably. That's chilly for Texas.

Here's Tanner one week later, the week of Thanksgiving, enjoying going down the slide in short sleeves. We get lots of warm spells when it's really supposed to be cold. Even though I'm a cold weather girl, I kind of like the warm spells. It lets us get more use out of our outside toys!

Tanner and his new ride.

Did I mention that Tanner loves slides? And he and Erilyn are buds.

Anthon must be going through a smile-in-a-pained-sort-of-way-for-the-camera phase because I know for a fact he was totally psyched in this picture. He spiked his hair himself.

These pictures are actually from way back in August, but I just found them on my phone and couldn't resist posting them here. Eat your heart out, Harry Potter! So stinkin' cute.

A few more things of note:
1. Tanner is officially the sweetest little boy. He will cuddle with me any time, any place. He loves his blankets and he loves snuggling up on my shoulder. He gives great kisses, and loves helping Dad put his shoes on. He's fascinated with whatever's going on above him and is constantly climbing on the table or up onto his stool so he can see what's going on. With tile floors, this leaves Mom in a constant state of panic. I especially find his "fat eyelashes" (phrase courtesy of Erilyn) and curly hair adorable and his cheeks are still irresistable.
2. Erilyn is becoming my right hand girl. I've discovered some helpful things about her: spanking her doesn't work. She laughs, no matter how hard you do it; you can't reason with her when she's emotional, but when properly motivated, she can control herself pretty well; she responds extraordinarily well when you point out something she's doing well, and she'll go out of her way to help or please me as long as I keep pointing out the things she's doing. This is a great trick. I especially love reading with her, and how she sings "Sam-e-el" in the primary song about Samuel prophesying of Jesus. She loves to play with friends, and is learning how to stand up for herself to Anthon. Their playtime is much more cooperative now, rather than dictatorial (with Anthon as dictator.)
3. Anthon continues to bring laughter and life to our home. He's taken to telling me what he wants to eat by saying the brand name. For example, at breakfast the other day, he said, "Mom, I need the Mrs. Butterworths." He loves to read and will read almost anything. Erilyn frequently gets frustrated that she's waited all day for Anthon to come home from school and play with her but all he wants to do is read his book. I've found the best way to deal with this situation is to sit down with Erilyn and read a book with her. Works like a charm. He's recently developed an intense interest in reptiles (ew), and is constantly asking me what my favorite kind of snake is.
A--"Mom, which snake do you like better, a Texas rattlesnake? Or a king cobra?"
M--Hmmm....."A garden snake."
A--"Are they venomous?"
M--"Nope, completely harmless. That's why I like them."
A--walks away shaking his head.
Don't worry, he'll be back. He's a hard one to shake, that one.
4. In other news, I've decided to start homeschooling. Not an easy choice, in some respects, but in others, it seems weird that I haven't been doing it all along. Scares the pants off me, though. More on that later. In fact, I think I'll start a separate homeschooling blog to chronicle the adventure. Anthon's thrilled; Erilyn's holding judgment. She seems cautiously optimistic.

Thanksgiving rundown:
We celebrated the holiday here. It was nice. Relaxing. A lot of cooking for a 10 minute dinner. Worth it? Jury's still out. It was nice to incorporate our own traditions, though. We spent some time in the week leading up to it writing down what we're thankful "4" on number fours I'd cut out of scrapbook paper and the posted them up on our wall. I've now put them all in a container that we'll open on Christmas morning and read before opening presents. On Thanksgiving Eve we had a little devotional and talked about the pilgrims, watched some Mormon Messages on gratitude, talked about how the more we see something, the less we notice it and then practiced noticing the things all around us that we take for granted. It was nice. The kids love Mormon Messages. They could watch it all day. We were going to try to go hiking Thursday morning, but it was cold and raining, so we just hung out. Good times.

Happy Thanksgiving!

And now I'm caught up.

October

2010-12-04T23:25:00.000-06:00

The Quick Version:

Erilyn likes to swing. And to smile sweetly.

The boys like to swing, too. Mom likes October weather. It's perfect for playing at the park. (We don't do parks in the summer. At least, not in Texas. October thru March is park weather here. At least for me.)

Erilyn got to ride Joe at preschool, and I got to help the Pony Lady give all the kids rides. Besides watching Erilyn fall in love (again) with horseback riding, what I enjoyed most was smelling Joe's neck. Ahhhh....I love the smell of horses. It makes everything right in the world.

I try to be crafty. I really do. For the sake of my children. Here we are trying to make mini caramel apples as a Halloween activity with friends. You use a melon baller to get out balls of an apple, stick a pretzel in the top and then dip it in melted caramel. Really cute idea. Didn't work at all. The pretzels would slide out too easily, so we always had to fish the apple-ball out of the caramel bowl with a fork. Nice thought, though. And a caramel dipped apple tastes just as good from a fork as it does from a pretzel. Thank goodness.

Tanner likes to climb. He loves to climb up the ladder and go down the slide by himself. The first time I saw him do it I almost had a heart attack. I didn't even know he could climb the ladder. When I ran out there, the kids assured me he was okay, saying, "Mom. It's okay. He does it all the time." !!!!! He does though. And he loves it. LOVES it.

I love this sweet baby face.

Erilyn's Halloween costume. She was a black kitty a couple of years ago, too. What can I say--she likes black cats. (I think it goes back to our cat Shadow that we had when she was a baby. I know she can't possibly actually remember Shadow, but she still knows she loves black cats.

Not sure why Anthon looks so scared, or sick, or sad...can't decide. He's a vampire, and Tanner's a spider. In case you couldn't tell.

With no planning or communication whatsoever, Jessica, Erilyn's best friend, also chose to be a black cat for Halloween. And Dallin, Anthon's friend and Jessica's brother, also chose to be a vampire for Halloween. We didn't realize it until we all showed up at the ward Trunk or Treat party. True story.

September...the rest of it

2010-12-04T23:08:00.000-06:00

Quick version:

Tanner started walking.

Tanner likes to climb. On anything.


Getting there.

Tanner not so used to Grandma


We had lots of fun playing with Grandma and Aunty Susan

Erilyn and Tanner are friends. And yes, they are playing at a splash park at the end of September. Welcome to Texas.

Tanner likes purple ice cream. Thank you Purple Cow.

The end. (Of September.)

First day of preschool

2010-09-13T16:54:00.000-05:00

I love this little preschool. They do all the usual preschool stuff, but it has such a sweet vibe, and they also take care of farm animals, and get to ride ponies on Fridays, and they grow a vegetable garden and make their own snacks. It's great. And she loves it.

Here she is being shy for the first five minutes of the first day, and she hasn't been shy since. Everyday she loves it.

I can't believe she's four and starting preschool, and yet, she's been four for years. I think I miss Erilyn's babyhood the most.

I love this girl! She's sweet, and surprising, and social, and smart, and girly, and fun. I miss you already, preschool girl!

2010-09-13T16:50:00.000-05:00

I love this outfit on him. There's a little tie that goes with it, and some cute shoes, but apparently he's deathly afraid of ties and shoes.

2nd grade

2010-09-13T16:48:00.000-05:00

Anthon's first day of second grade. I almost forgot to take his picture, and then at the very last second he pulled this face. Typical. I love this kid!

First day of ballet

2010-09-13T16:46:00.000-05:00

She's in heaven. I personally believe she's a natural born dancer, though I'll admit I know nothing about dancing. She just loves it and it's adorable. Worth the sacrifice of having to take two babies and a restless 7 year old to the studio and wait for an hour for her class...most of the time, at least:)

Tanner's first birthday and sweet baby bathtime

2010-09-13T16:43:00.000-05:00

He was thrilled, of course, with his cake. I can't believe my baby is one. (Cliche, I know, but true.) I love, LOVE this adorable little boy! He's cuddly, and sweet, and playful, and easy going. The perfect baby.

Bathtime is one of his favorite things to do. He loves to unplug the water, and then try to plug it up again. Which he almost never can do. So we're constantly re-filling the tub, which he also loves, because then he fills up his cup and gets lots of drinks. Adorable!

Naked Baby

2010-07-28T14:57:00.001-05:00

How cute are naked babies?! I just love that squishy bum! And that curly hair!

Tanner at the splash park

2010-07-28T14:56:00.000-05:00

Just thought I'd share these fun pics. We went to a splash park the other night after dinner, thinking we'd just let the kids get some energy out. Tanner was already in his pjs and I was just going to push him in the swing or something, but as soon as we got there, he made a beeline for the water. He crawled around getting sprayed for over half an hour and loved every second of it! He'd get really surprised when he'd get sprayed and then just smile and giggle like crazy. So cute!

Summer Projects

2010-07-27T19:29:00.001-05:00

Any of you who know me know I'm not a naturally crafty person. I enjoy it on occassion, but if I were to choose an activity as a creative outlet, it would NOT be arts or crafts. That said, the kids and I have been trying to incorporate more arts and crafts this summer and here are two of our most fun projects:

Bean Bags

The kids loved picking out material from my scraps and helping me sew and fill them so much that I promised to take them to an actual fabric store so they can pick out their own fabric for another one.

Since completing this project I've been "killed" by bean bag guns and cannons more times than I care to admit.

Glossy Painting

This project took forever to dry, and had to be closely supervised, but turned out really beautiful. You just mix food coloring with corn syrup and have at it. I drew a picture with a wax crayon on photo paper, and put a paint brush into each of the four colors I made, and the kids did the rest. As is typical, Erilyn didn't really want to do it at first, but after watching Anthon and two friends paint for a while, she finally decided to participate. Anthon whipped out six paintings (two I didn't even try to hang up considering how much goo, I mean, "glossy paint" was on the paper and would surely drip off onto the floor), while Erilyn did her one flower pot. But they both ended up feeling really proud of their work, so that's what counts, right?! And all the other kids (we had friends over) praised Erilyn on their own for her flower pot painting. They thought hers was really pretty, which made her smile and me glad.

You can see Anthon's rainbow painting starting to slide downward already. I ended up having to take them down because even though they were basicly "dry," they'd still kind of drip.

They were really pretty though. The colors were very vivid and shiny.

Overall, I consider it a success because Erilyn painted. The end.

Some things we're trying...

2010-07-27T19:12:00.001-05:00

With our easy summer schedule (and the heat, which--aside from going to the pool nearly every day--generally leaves us finding things to do indoors, since I'm a heat wimp), I think we've all started getting on each other's nerves a little. In an effort to keep the peace, we've been trying a few things this summer:

Experiment #1

I put this jar and all these little pom poms on a tray on our coffee table, and told them that every time we did something nice for someone in our family, or even someone outside of our family, we could put a "warm fuzzy" in the jar. We talked about how serving makes us feel warm and fuzzy inside, and how it helps our family grow closer together and closer to God. I specified that being obedient to the rules of the house, while admirable and desirable, did not earn them a warm fuzzy. They had to do something above and beyond.

For a while, they were constantly looking for ways to earn a warm fuzzy and they did really well at being self-motivated. But after a week or two, they started to lose interest and I had to be much more active in looking for things they were doing that deserved a warm fuzzy. I found that if I watched, they were helping and serving all the time! What a great opportunity for me to practice positive praise and for me to get better at serving as well.

Overall, a successful experiment. And now that we've filled our jar, we're going to celebrate by spending a day at a nearby lake, swimming, playing in the sand, and picnicking. Fun fun!

Experiment #2

To help us all to remember to use kind words AND voices when we speak to each other, I put five candies in each of our little cups every morning. I told the kids that they could eat all five of their candies during our nightly scripture reading if they used sweet words and voices all day long. But, if they yelled, or whined, or said something not sweet, they had to give one of their candies to the person they yelled, whined, or weren't sweet to. The first several days, we were all giving away lots of candies. And one day, Anthon ended up with 11, which, I decided at the end of the day, was more of a testament to what a pill he was, than to the rest of us losing our cool. But, besides that, it's gone really well. And in the last day or so, I've really noticed that hardly any of us are giving our candies away! We're learning to be sweet, even when frustrated!

Ah, sweet success.

hee hee...I couldn't resist the pun:)

Homemade

2010-07-14T23:31:00.000-05:00

The kids and I have been busy in the kitchen the last few days. We made strawberry jam, three batches of homemade bread with accompanying bread letters, granola, and granola bars.

The kids were a huge help and were thrilled that I let them help hull the strawberries. I taught them how to hold and handle a knife, and they were surprisingly careful and effective.

And I'm happy to report no cuts!

Good work, kiddos!

Playtime

2010-07-14T23:27:00.000-05:00

These two exercise balls have gotten more use as toys than they ever have or hope to have as a workout aid. The kids play with them constantly!

There's a cute little story behind this play session. Tanner was, of course, desperately trying to involve himself in the game, and Erilyn didn't want him to play with them, so she made a door with the two baskets. The picture of her is peeking out of her door. Anthon, decided to let Tanner play, so Tanner crawled under Anthon's blanket door, and made himself cozy on Anthon's lap. Anthon couldn't stop laughing because Tanner wouldn't get up. I pulled Tanner up to sitting, and he'd immediately shake his head and lay back down on Anthon's lap. I tried this multiple times. Every time I tried to make him sit up, he'd shake his head and lay back down on Anthon's lap. So funny! Silly baby.

July...so far

2010-07-11T18:52:00.000-05:00

(The big kids sitting on top of the car to watch the fireworks. I think they liked sitting on top of the car more than the fireworks!)

This past week has been one big party. It seems like we've had balloons and streamers covering our house since June. We didn't do much for the 4th of July, a family BBQ and then fireworks, but Erilyn has been dancing around the house singing "Oh spacious skies, oh beautiful, oh spacious skies..." all week long. She loves to sing and dance, that girl. Anthon's birthday party was on Wednesday. I think I like summer birthdays. I used to feel sorry for the kids, but now I prefer it. All we do is find some water, through up some balloons, and call it a party! Anthon asked me to make a pirate cake again, so we did. To quote his friends, "Anthon, this is by far the coolest cake ever." I'm glad they thought so. His party was super easy for me. We swam in our neighborhood pool, opened presents, ate cake, swam some more, and tah dah. Anthon is 7.

The kids are getting to be quite the little fishies. Erilyn doesn't use floaties at all anymore and can swim nearly the whole width of the pool, which is probably 30-40 feet wide. She's fearless and tireless, so we swim nearly every day. Tanner has a little seat that he floats around in and loves it. That pool is my saving grace. I couldn't get through the Texas summers without a pool.

Since last Sunday, Anthon has read the Illustrated Book of Mormon Stories cover to cover--twice, Little House on the Prairie, Young Cam Jansen and the Library Mystery, Young Cam Jansen and the Double Beach Mystery, Young Cam Jansen and the Ice Skate Mystery, Young Cam Jansen and the 100th Day of School Mystery, Science on the Edge: Nanotechnology, Charlotte's Webb, Stuart Little, countless board books and picture books to Erilyn and Tanner, and is now about a third of the way through The Trumpet of the Swan.

He reads a lot.

I consider myself a pretty voracious reader, but I've read maybe half that many. He read all the Cam Jansen books in one day.

(Kirk took this picture; I've learned to be grateful if I'm at least looking at the camera when he snaps it. So, while this is not the most flattering picture of me or of Tanner, at least we're both looking at the camera with our eyes open (mostly)! And I'm even kind of smiling! It's a keeper.)

Tanner is cruising. It won't be long now before he walks and I'm a bit sad about it. Of course I want him to progress and learn and grow; that's part of the job satisfaction of being a mother. But I'm really enjoying his babyhood and trying hard to cherish every minute. I'm in a good place with my kids right now. We don't have any major issues we're dealing with. They are all happy, learning, growing, and good, sweet kids. I'm sure that will change, but it's fun right now. We've been playing a lot of games together: we like Uno Attack, Go Fish, Old Maid, Sum Swamp, memory games, Candy Land, and Erilyn is learning to play Wii Sports so we have regular game nights.

I'm trying to get back into running and it's kickin' my butt! I did two miles the other day and was feeling pretty good about myself until I recalled having run two marathons. I'll get there, but it sure is rough just starting out after a two year hiatus.

Tanner's new favorite game is to use the vacuum as a push toy. He's always liked the vacuum, following us around when we're going the floors, but now, once we turn it off, he'll crawl up to it and start pushing it up and down the hallway. If it gets stuck, he'll start yelling at us until we un-stuck it, and then off he'll go, up and down the hallway again. So cute!

Dinner time...

Rainy Days

2010-07-03T23:57:00.000-05:00

We've been getting a TON of rain lately. I have mixed feelings about it. Of course, I love rain. I love how it washes everything and renews everything and how it cools down the hot summer days. But I really, really don't like the humidity it brings. Dallas is humid enough already, but with the rain, even my stick straight hair is starting to curl. But only around my face of course, where I can't really do anything about it. It just looks weird.

Anyway, these two pictures are indicative of Anthon's and Erilyn's personalities. Once it started pouring, they both ran to put their swim suits on (Anthon's idea) to play out in the rain. Anthon jumped outside and got right down to business. Erilyn took one step outside, and ran back in. While Anthon proceeded to race down the wet slide, take a shower (literally--I handed him the soap) in the roof run-off, and make rain/grass soup, Erilyn shouted encouragement to him through the (closed) window and sang and danced around inside.

This is so like both of them. Anthon likes to get right into life. He likes to live in the thick of it, never missing anything. He's a bit of a whirlwind. I said to him once, "Anthon, you are by far the best at making messes. But you are also the best at cleaning up quick." It's true. The whole dynamic of our house changes once Anthon gets home. The house is instantly a mess, but everyone's laughing. And, during the school year, I could tell what he did that day by what was all over his shirt, arms and face. Peanut butter on the cheek meant Dad had made him a PBJ for lunch. Markers and paint on the arms meant that he had art that day. And his clothes were always covered in something.

Erilyn, on the other hand, likes to dance around the edges, sometimes, quite literally. She's calmer. Anthon can sometimes get her to dive in, like on an earlier post where they're both in the big blue bucket of rain water. That took some doing. Anthon had been out there for probably about an hour before Erilyn finally got in with him. But when he's at school, our house is calm, usually clean, and pretty quiet--sometimes too quiet. She likes order, and I can always trust her to be very thorough when cleaning up a spill. She brings beauty and joy wherever she goes, whereas Anthon brings laughter and, let's be honest, craziness. They complement each other perfectly.

I wonder how Tanner will fit into the mix...

Sleeping sweeties

2010-07-03T23:45:00.000-05:00

I found the kids sleeping like this one night on vacation.

So sweet.

San Antonio

2010-07-03T23:41:00.001-05:00

We took a trip to San Antonio a couple weeks ago and the kids didn't want to leave.

While we were there, we did a LOT of swimming. Kirk and I celebrated our 8th anniversary. We went to a couple of movies. We briefly visited the Alamo and had to promise Anthon to spend more time there the next time we visit. We went to a high school graduation and a dance recital and besides that, we did a whole lot of nothing. Which was great.

In attempt to help Erilyn develop her artistic talents (of which she has very little--she inherited that from me. Sorry babe.), and, knowing that her cousin Paige has artistic talents in abundance that I hoped would wear off a little onto my sweet Erilyn, I planned a bunch of artsy things to do with the kids while we were there. I think it helped. She seemed to like it. Paige loved it, and the boys enjoyed it, and Erilyn tolerated it.

I love how she's looking at Paige here, to make sure she should be smiling. Because you know how art can be. Kind of a pain. Only to some, of course.

Black magic art. They had fun doing it in shifts. They'd yell, "5 minute break! The paint's gotta dry!" And run off. They'd check back in after a few minutes to see if it was time for step 2.

The girls loved playing dress up, and Paige has the best costumes, so Hailey got them dressed up one day, did their hair and makeup, and then did a photoshoot with them. Erilyn was in heaven. She l-o-v-e-d it.

She still asks nearly every day if we can go back to Paige's house. Soon, baby girl. Soon.

Miscellaneous June

2010-07-03T23:31:00.000-05:00

The bucket was full of rain water, and so, of course it seemed like a good idea to climb into it with all their clothes on. Anthon's idea, I'm quite certain.

Watching Backyardigans. I love how she cuddles with him and how he lets her.

Kirk taking them on a ride on his spaceship. Note the protective head gear, and the steering wheels. Anthon thought it was a blast. Erilyn was a bit disappointed that it wasn't a real spaceship. Typcial.

Happy Birthday Erilyn!

2010-07-03T23:28:00.000-05:00

She wore the crown pretty much all day.

Birthday pancakes

As requested...a princess cake. Not the most beautiful princess cake in the world, but I never promised the most beautiful princess cake. Just a princess cake. She loved it.

I love this girl. She has steady emotions, for the most part, and constantly surprises me with how much she knows that I didn't teach her. She's a graceful, self-taught dancer, and loves everything pink. She lives to be with Anthon and completely adores him. Though they do their fair share of fighting, too. She loves books and is learning to love cuddling, though she's not a natural at it like Anthon. She's great at helping Tanner be happy when Mom needs a few extra minutes. She's a thorough cleaner and a great helper.

We love you Erilyn!

Let's be honest

2010-06-18T16:47:00.001-05:00

I've become addicted to reading other people's blogs. There are so many amazing women out there who create beautiful and unique homes, who are so talented in artsy things, who are clever or entrepreneur-y, and who capture their day-to-day lives in a lovely and enviable way.

I'm hooked.

But, while it's inspiring in small doses, I've begun to realize that, in large quantities, this kind of reading is detrimental for me. I become moody and depressed and focused on what I don't have, and what my talents are not, instead of being grateful for my many blessings and talents.

I really wish I was crafty. That I could design, build, and decorate a functional, beautiful laundry room with only a few hundred dollars. Or that I could whip up a cute gift for a friend out of an old herbal tea tin, some scrapbook paper, and home-made candy. Here's where it gets brutal: I could do these things, given enough time and/or money. But, if I'm really honest with myself, I realize I'm unwilling to do these things because they do not come naturally to me and would require an inordinate amount of time/money which 1. I don't want to give or 2. I don't have to give.

One of the blogs I read recently was from a friend and woman I really admire, and she recently came to a similar realization. Based on the idea that I am my childrens' home, and my husband's, and given what I have to work with, I'm doing an amazing job.

I also do not believe life should be easy, or perfect. My living room does not need to be spotless before I can take a picture of it. I do not need to decorate my walls before I have friends over. My grout does not need to be scrubbed before we have a party. I don't have to have lost all my baby weight before I go swimming. And I do not have to be perfect today. Or tomorrow. I'm working on it. And I'm doing my best to be patient, to take opportunities for growth, to demonstrate faith and self-reliance, and to be a positive, optimistic person in the face of adversity. The truth is, I'm enormously blessed. My children are beautiful, happy, intelligent, fun, good, and healthy. My husband is supportive, optimistic, realistic, adoring, and my best friend. Given all the options out there, including those I once thought I'd prefer, I'll stick with what I've got, thank you very much.

Let's be honest. It's not perfect. But it's perfect for me.

Family Campout

2010-05-31T15:13:00.000-05:00

A couple of weekends ago, Kirk and Anthon were all set to go on a Father and Son's campout but they got rained out, so we had our own little family campout.

We had a fire, and roasted hot dogs (which dripped all over the inside of the fireplace...ugh) and made s'mores.

And pitched a tent. We turned out all the lights and played games and told stories, passing a flashlight around to whoever was doing the telling.
Anthon wasn't thrilled with Tanner crawling all over him.

Then we had family movie night and watched the movie from inside the tent. The kids slept there all night, but Mom and Dad and Tanner enjoyed the comfort of a real bed.

Fun times!

The kids lately

2010-05-31T15:01:00.000-05:00

I originally posted this nearly a month ago, but the pictures weren't working...so here it is again.

Tanner is definitely a mamma's boy. It's really sweet. If Kirk's holding him when he's crying, he actually counts down from the second he gives Tanner to me until he stops crying and he rarely gets past 2 or 3. It's almost instantaneous. I'm completely charmed and flattered that I'm so comforting to him, even though it gets a little tiresome sometimes. And he looks at me so adoringly sometimes, that I said to Kirk yesterday that babies are God's gift to mothers of older children. After the daily emotional battle of parenting older children (getting homework done, chores, conflict resolution, sharing toys, etc.), there is nothing better than getting the cuddles and the pure adoration of a baby. It fixes everything.

He's almost 10 months old and he's finally starting to act like he's going to start to crawl. Sometimes I laugh that my 10 month old baby isn't even crawling yet, but then I remember chasing my 8 month old walking Anthon around the house all day and trying to keep everything from complete destruction and I'm grateful. I want him to stay a baby as long as possible, and so far, he's being very obliging. He has taken a few teensy steps with his arms toward a toy or Kirk, so we're making progress. I refuse to encourage it. For the reasons I alluded to already, but also, because as soon as he starts crawling, I'm going to have to be a lot more careful about safety issues. Eventually, he'll crawl regardless of what I do or don't do, and that's the beginning of the end, as far as I'm concerned. So I'm enjoying the remaining days of a relatively stationary baby.
Oh, and he's finally starting to eat food that isn't pure mush. He ate bits of banana yesterday, and he likes the soft part of bread. His favorite is still pears or sweet potatoes.

Erilyn is a lively, sweet, girly little girl. She loves friends, dancing, and anything princess-related. She says the cutest things, has the most amusing sense of logic, and still has the best control of her facial expressions of anyone in our family. She's athletic and feminine at the same time. I've started officially teaching her the letters of the alphabet, and she loves doing her "homework." We usually do it in the morning with some games and crafts, but then we practice writing in the afternoon when Anthon's at the table doing his homework. She loves it.

Anthon is developing some serious problem solving skills. After many long tests, he's been recommended for our district's gifted and talented program. His teacher said she's not surprised. I have mixed feelings about it, but he seems to look forward to the extra work we told him it would entail, so we'll see how it goes. I'm mostly glad he'll be more challenged and mentally stimulated.
He reads like crazy. He brought home The Diary of a Wimpy Kid the other day from his school library, and knowing other kids who'd read it and loved it, I didn't think anything of it at first. Then, later that night, after he'd already read the entire book, he asked me to start over with him and read it out loud. I didn't get very far before I realized it was too old for him: worrying about acne and getting girls to like you is not 1st-grader appropriate. We had a talk about how just because you can read something doesn't mean you should. Now he has to let me look at any books he checks out of the school library before I'll let him read them. The problem is, he's really running out of reading material. He's read all of The Magic Treehouse series, A to Z Mysteries, The American Chillers, most of Encyclopedia Brown, and a whole bunch of others that I'm forgetting the titles to. At our library, all there is left is Junie B Jones which I think he's resigning himself to, though he's read at least half of those as well. I found Homer Price, and The Great Brain books for him, which he's almost finished with, and he's listened to all of The Secret Seven books our library has on CD, which is the only format they have. He's read a lot of random chapter books, and most of the research guides that go along with the Magic Treehouse books, as well as a ton of non-fiction books about pretty much anything you could imagine. I think he's going to have to move on to longer classic children's novels like Charlotte's Web, and Where the Red Fern Grows. Kirk's read some of those out loud to him, and he loves it. I'm going to have trouble keeping up with him as he gets older. It's a bit daunting.

Time for a Sunday evening stroll. The weather is a delightfully cool 64 F.

Sleeping babies

2010-05-09T21:07:00.000-05:00

What is it about sleeping babies that is so angelic?! Even my Anthon, who is most definitely not a baby anymore seems so sweet and innocent when he's sleeping. There is such a peace that comes over my house at bedtime...no, wait...after bedtime. It's such a cozy feeling.

I love how Anthon and Erilyn both insist on using Kirk and my childhood blankets even though they're old and...very well used.

Frisco Horse Park

2010-05-09T21:05:00.000-05:00

The first time I noticed the sign for this place, way back in August when Mom and Dad were still here helping us move in, I knew we had to go there.
Saturday dawned a beautiful day. It's been starting to get a bit toasty here the past week or so, but Saturday was a gorgeous 75 F, at the hottest part of the day, so we decided to make our trip to the Frisco Horse Park before the weather would make it miserable.
It wasn't quite what I expected, but the kids had fun. And it was relatively cheap. They had bounce houses, playground equipment, a petting zoo where the kids can go in with the goats and sheep to pet them, pony rides, horse rides (for 7 and up) and lots of other horses to pet and look at. It was just a big open place, with some goats wandering free, a bunch of horses and ponies tied up to the fence, and kids running around everywhere. You could pick your pony and just climb on! Erilyn loved going fast, which was kind of surprising to me. I would have guessed that she wouldn't like the bouncing, but she loved it! (not the bouncing...the going fast) Anthon didn't want to ride a pony, but he had fun running around climbing on things and chasing goats. We probably won't go back for a while, but I'm still glad we went.
And when Erilyn's incessant begging to have a horse or to ride a horse or to pet a horse gets too much for me to bear, I know exactly where to go.

Payday

2010-05-09T17:08:00.001-05:00

I think it's easy to feel under-appreciated as a mother on a daily basis and to therefore expect too much out of Mother's Day, as if it's the only sense of reward or appreciation we get, when really, if we take the time to notice, we get paid every single day, and sometimes, multiple times in a day!

Case in point: Tanner was a pill during Church today. Oh, of course he smiled and flirted with my friends and was sweet as could be for part of the time, but then he got tired. And he didn't have his bed. Thus begins the battle. Have you ever noticed how annoying squirming babies are? They are so tired that if you even think about putting them down to play or give them to their less than favorite person, they'll scream at you. But even when you're trying to love and cuddle them, they squirm and wiggle and pull your hair and rub their runny-nose-faces into your Sunday clothes. It's annoying. And frustrating. And draining on the Mom--feels--loved--and--appreciated bank account.

All of our nerves got a little raw having to listen to him scream the whole way home from Church. I knew exactly what he needed: lunch and a nap. By the time we got home, he was so upset and so tired and so hungry that I had to hold him while he ate his peas because he screamed at me if I tried to put him in his high chair.

But then, something miraculous happened. I snuggled up close to him in my bed to nurse him and he immediately quieted down, snuggled in close and began the soothing suck-swallow-breath of nursing. It was beautiful to see his relief and contentment and to know I had something to do with it. For whatever reason, it was so supremely fulfilling for me to know what my baby needed, when he needed it, and be able to give it to him. I sighed deeply and held my baby close.

Cha-ching. Payday.

My style

2010-05-04T23:42:00.002-05:00

I got the idea from a friends' blog to go to the site sproost.com and take a quiz that tells you what your home decorating style is. Now I know. I'm 43% Nantucket style, 29% Cottage chic, and 28% Modern elegance. Does this fit me? Here are some pictures of the various styles:

Nantucket (which I knew was a place, but I didn't know it was it's own style)

Cottage chic

And, Modern elegance

Clearly, I like light and earthy. I think it's interesting that I seem to be drawn to beachy-ness when I've NEVER lived near the ocean, or even large bodies of water.

Shopping, anyone?!

Conversations with my 3 year old

2010-05-04T21:56:00.003-05:00

Conversation #1

While I was feeding Tanner the other day, Erilyn was playing peek-a-boo with him by standing behind his hi-chair and popping around to the side. We were all giggling when suddenly Erilyn said, "Mom, Tanner is like a puzzle." Slightly intrigued at her logic, I reply, "Really? How?" Patiently, she says, "Well, when he's broken, you can fix him." Now, I'm amused. "But Erilyn, he's not broken!" "Yes, but when he's broken, you can fix him!" Chuckling, but still failing to see the connection to a puzzle, I ask, "Okay, but if he breaks, how do you fix him?" At this point, she's getting a little frustrated that I don't seem to be taking her seriously, and, condescendingly, she says, "Well, Mom. You get a hammer and nails and just fix him." ?!?! Of course I explained to her that you can't use a hammer and nails to fix people if they break, but I still have a terrifying image of Tanner fussing on the floor while Erilyn approaches with a hammer, ready to "fix him."

Conversation #2

A couple of days ago, Erilyn and I went to the library for story time. We didn't realize that the story time lady is taking a break until June, so we had lots of time to sit and cuddle and read books. It seemed to me that we read a lot of books about flying: there was a unicorn one where a little girl flies around on a unicorn; there was one about a paper doll princess who gets blown around in the wind; and there was at least one other one I'm forgetting about. They all had that dreamy, imaginations are so great kind of feel to them where everything turns out happily in the end and the child has a special secret that adults don't know about. So, when Erilyn said to me on the way home, "Mom, if I jumped up really high in the air, all the way up to the sky, what do you think would happen?" I naturally assumed she was thinking fantastically and responded in kind, "well, I think you would bump into a lot of tree branches."

"Nope."

"Oh, okay, well then, I think you'd get blown away by the wind."

"Nope."

"Okay. Would you get stuck on the clouds?"

"Nope."

"Well, then, Erilyn. What would happen?"

"I'd fall down on the ground and break my head open."

!!!

Conversation #3

This afternoon, Kirk and I took the kids to a splash park to commemorate the first day of 90 degree weather. They had a blast, and since it was kind of a last minute thing, and a celebration of sorts, we stopped to get pizza on the way home. When Kirk got back into the car, the conversation went like this.

Erilyn--Dad, did you get a pepperoni pizza? (her favorite)

Kirk--No. I got the sausage, pickle, and other-gross-things kind. (she hates all those things.)

Erilyn--Oh.

I then passed out some breadsticks since it was late and everyone was starving. A few minutes later, after some quiet munching, we hear Erilyn say to herself, incredulously, "Hmmmm...this pickle is good!"

!!!

The two things I love most about conversation #3 are first, that Kirk can, without missing a beat, and with such a straight face, make up something outlandish to tease the kids about, and second, that they believe him wholeheartedly and are therefore thoroughly surprised about, in this case, the pizza--or pickle, tasting good.

My two cool cats, on the way to the park. I just love Erilyn's smile, and Tanner's chubby little cheeks. It's Tanner's first time wearing sunglasses and it was a good 15 minutes before he even tried to take them off. So cute!

And Anthon is definitely a book worm. He reads at least one chapter book a day. And they often have up to, or sometimes even more than 200 pages. He's running out of age-appropriate reading material...any suggestions?

My (girl) baby

2010-04-15T14:45:00.000-05:00

She wasnt' hurt, but once she saw Anthon's cool bandage, she had to have one too!

My (first) baby

2010-04-15T14:43:00.000-05:00

We were playing in the backyard the other day and Kirk was pretending Anthon was a football and kind of threw him a little, but when Anthon landed, he rolled his ankle. I think he might have sprained it a little because it's been over a week and he still limps on it, even when he doesn't know I'm watching. He was pretty upset about it at first (so was Kirk, poor guy!), but when I pulled out the tensor bandaged and put my athletic training skills to work, he got over it pretty fast. He thought he was so cool to wrap it up with ice and rest it (R-I-C-E it, Mom!) He kept coming up to me to remind me to wrap it, or put ice on it. It was really cute.

I love these boys! And I hope they'll grow up close. There's nothing in the world quite like a brother.

My baby

2010-04-15T14:34:00.003-05:00

I went in to check on Tanner a couple of days ago and found him just chillin in my bed, takin' a nap.

His hair was getting kind of long so I cut it the other day when I cut Anthon's. I almost cried when I realized I'd cut all the silky soft baby hair off and now he has tougher little boy hair.

Sometimes I want to live forever in a particular moment and would just love to freeze time and never let Tanner get old. But then I think of how that would completely epitomize being damned. He wouldn't be able to progress in any way because of my selfishness.

As much as I want to be able to cuddle him and kiss those sweet chubby cheeks forever, I want even more for him to grow, and learn, and experience all that life has to offer--the bad times along with the good. I know there is wisdom in God's plan for me and my family and I try to remember that when I'm cuddling with him in bed at night trying so hard to soak in his sweetness while I can.

I love this little guy! He has such a sweet, content, happy personality. He has brought so much joy to me as a mother, and such a happy dynamic to our family. We love you little buddy!

Happy Easter!

2010-04-15T14:21:00.000-05:00

Anthon's been having trouble keeping his eyes open in pictures lately, so here he is keeping them open. So cute.We had a great Easter.

We had a little devotional type thing every morning (or, night, depending on how succesfful I was at not hitting the snooze button that day) where we talked about some of the events in the Savior's last week, read scriptures, etc. It was really neet to teach my kids about the atonement in such a specific and detailed way.

We also did some kind of activity everyday, like dye easter eggs, have an easter egg hunt with friends, make a craft, etc. We did a Christian Sedar Friday night, or a very simplified version of it. Daddy taught us about passover and Christ as the sacrificial lamb. I'm so looking forward to when the kids get older and we can talk about all the symbolism. Saturday was or commercial celebration where they had to follow clues to find their baskets, watched conference, and we did our Easter ham dinner then. Sunday we just relaxed, tried to fly our kite, watched conference and then had a "Jesus Dinner," or ate things that Jesus might have eaten, like fish, unleavened bread, olives, figs, hummus, etc. It was neat.

I think a lot of what we did went right over Erilyn's head, but Anthon really soaked it in. I'm really looking forward to building on this tradition and using Easter as a tool to teach our kids about the richness of the symbolism in the Gospel and the power of the atonement. It was a beautiful holiday. Happy Easter!

Our Jesus Dinner.

Unsuccessfully trying to fly a kite.

Erilyn got hers up for a bit before it broke. She loved every minute--er...second--of it!

Easter Egg Hunt with Friends

2010-04-15T14:11:00.000-05:00

Anthon and his best friend in the world. Jacob.

I love those toothless grins!

Erilyn and her best friend, Jessica.

The Circus!

2010-04-15T14:08:00.000-05:00

You'll just have to take my word for it, but the circus arena is behind us:)

This was definitely the highlight of Erilyn's whole night...probably of her whole life. You can't really tell, because she shows emotion about as much as Kirk does, but she was thrilled.

Anthon was very unselfish, and gave up his only ticket, and therefore the chance for him to do any of the fun extra things for himself, just so Erilyn would have enough to ride the pony. It was a beautiful gesture. And he learned that being unselfish brings you joy as well because it made him feel so good to make Erilyn so happy. What a sweet brother.

My kids

2010-04-12T23:36:00.001-05:00

I really like my kids. I love them. I adore them. I thank God every day that I get to be their mother. Yes, even days when I want to pull my hair out. All it takes is to peek in on them when they're sleeping (their most angelic state, I'll admit) to forget all the tantrums, the waking up at night and whatever else it was that day, to remember how deeply I love them. I hope some day they will get to experience this same kind of love. It's powerful and beautiful and absolutely life changing.

Quick One...

2010-04-10T22:31:00.001-05:00

I have some catching up to do, but I wanted to record some of my favorite Erilyn phrases before I forget them:

Here they are, in no particular order:

1. "What you said, Mom?"

2. "Mom, may I can have a cookie?"

3. Anything that has an "fl" in it, like butterfly, because she says "thl" instead of "fl." For example, "Mom! Look! Did you see that butterthly?", or, "Mom, birds can thly. I wish I could thly like a bird.", or, "Sorry, Mom. I accident spilled my yogurt on the thloor.", or "Mom, I love my new thlip thlops!"

4. "Merry Christrum!"

I never let Kirk correct her because I think it's adorable and it will be all too soon when she figures it out for herself, and then what will I do?!

Also, one of the great joys of my life (seriously) is watching Erilyn ride her scooter. I'll try to get a video of it or a picture. It's adorable.

I love how when she is feeling most herself (meaning, when Anthon is at school and it's just me and her) she sings to herself constantly. I haven't decided yet whether or not it's because she loves music, (which I already know she does; she especially loves being sung to sleep) or because she's such a social creature (which I also already know about her. She literally comes to life when she has friends to play with. It's a remarkable transformation. Not that she's not "alive" when alone at home with me, but she's much quieter, more reserved. When I play with her, she lights up in the same way. She just loves and craves company. I'll try to remember that about her.

Good news and Bad news

2010-03-28T19:43:00.000-05:00

The good news is my camera is NOT broken.

The bad news is I only thought it was broken because I'd replaced the battery backwards. Really.

Priorities

2010-03-26T21:22:00.000-05:00

What the kids are doing in this picture makes Kirk and I both nervous, but for very different reasons.

I don't like how high up Erilyn is. I mean, c'mon. Do you even want to think of what could happen if she fell? But Kirk doesn't have a problem with it.

On the other hand, he does have a problem with the kids sliding down things. I once gave them a big inflatable toy to slide down the stairs on, and he kind of freaked out. He also thinks trampolines are dangerous.

I guess the really interesting thing is, if Erilyn being so high up and Anthon sliding down a slide on a foreign object makes Kirk and I both nervous, why are they both doing those very things and us not doing anything about it?!

Hmm...

Sittin' Up Baby, Hands and Cameras--In No Particular Order

2010-03-26T21:16:00.000-05:00

I love that Tanner watches his hands, and I love even more that he laughs at what he sees there. Not only are they two of the most fascinating things he's ever seen, but they're funny, too?! What luck!

Also, Tanner is now officially a "sittin' up" baby. Sigh.

He loves the new perspective.

And I have to admit, it's kind of cute. Especially when he's in the tub (not pictured). I've quickly learned that he's a much worse splasher than Erilyn ever was, but not as bad as Anthon (still is), so that's a bit of a relief.

Way to go, buddy!

And finally, my camera died. These are taken with my phone, which Kirk insists is just as good, when you can clearly see it is not. For one thing, I can't zoom in on Tanner to be able to cut out the clutter in the background. I know, I know. I could edit. But seriously. Who has time to edit pictures? It's all I can do to get them loaded and filed accurately on the computer and then blog about them!

Pueblo Grande

2010-03-22T22:56:00.000-05:00

Even though we lived in Mesa for nearly four years, we never really did any of the touristy things, so this trip I tried to do something uniquely Arizonan with the kids. It ended up being more Arizonan than we thought it would be because we all got sunburned. THAT is definitely Arizonan.

Here we're visiting the ancient ruins of the Hohokam Indians who inhabited the valley for about 1500 years.

Looking at these pictures now I can see Anthon's exuberance for life. He is so expressive! Sometimes I get frustrated and tell him to hold still so I can get a good picture, but really, I LOVE these pictures of him! They are so Anthon.

Here, Erilyn is pouting because she's hot. She does look a little limp.

The funny thing about this trip is that when we toured the ruins the first time, they were totally bored, hot, tired, and whiney. It really wasn't that hot, about 85 degrees, but that Arizona sun can fry you in a second. Anyway, I got so frustrated that I finally just dragged them to the car, until I realized I hadn't taken any pictures. So, I made them get out so we could go pose for some pictures, and we ended up touring the ruins a second time and this time they loved it! Anthon kept saying, "Mom, can we go see their little houses again?! Mom, look over here!" So strange. I'm glad at least that we left happy and satisfied.

Baby toes

2010-03-22T22:55:00.000-05:00

I just noticed this today....

I just love those little toes sticking out! It makes me think of a hitchhiker's thumb...like he's saying to me constantly, "Pick me up! Pick me up!"

A few of our favorite things...

2010-03-22T22:51:00.001-05:00

...about spring break at Gramma and Grampa Morgan's.

the kids LOVED their backyard. I'm still not sure what they did out there, but they spent the better part of several days out there completely unattended and completely happy.
The beehive in the backyard. Thankfully, no one got stung!
Picking grapefruit at the temple with Grampa
Making cinnamon rolls with Gramma
Visiting the ancient ruins at Pueblo Grande
Meeting and playing with cousins
Getting to watch Gramma's Disney movies (on VHS! I'm not sure they've ever seen a VHS tape...but they have now:)) This was a special treat for them because I can count on two fingers how many Disney movies we have. Sad, I know. Erilyn adored The Swan Princess.
Getting sick...not a favorite thing, but memorable.
Breakfast baggies--we put eggs, hashbrowns, sausage, onions, cheese etc in little ziploc baggies, wrote our names on them, and then boiled them in a big pot. Breakfast in a bag, so fun! Thanks Gramma!
Anthon having to stop every 20 minutes to go to the bathroom. DEFINITELY not a favorite, but very memorable. Unless he was asleep, we literally had to stop about every half hour. I made him stop drinking, but it wasn't just pee....this goes back to the getting sick memory...

We had a great trip. Our kids are road warriors. Really, they are awesome travelers. It's the only way we can drive 18-20 hours straight with them, one direction. It's a good thing, too, since all our family lives far, far away!

And THEN we came home to this...GLORIOUS SNOW!

Saying goodbye

2010-03-22T22:42:00.000-05:00

Gramma and Tanner--love that smile, babycakes!

Anthon said today, "Mom, I ALREADY miss Gramma and Grampa!"

Erilyn was so upset that we had to leave that she wouldn't stand to take a picture with Gramma and Grampa. This was the only way we could get her in one. Silly girl. She said to me yesterday, the day we got back, "Mom, we can please go to Gramma and Grampa's house again? I love them." So sweet!

Picking grapefruit with Grampa

2010-03-22T22:39:00.000-05:00

Gramma and Grampa Morgan live across the street from the Mesa, Arizona temple, where Grampa works. There are dozens of grapefruit trees that are for public use, I guess you could say, and they are so yummy! Grampa took the kids over one morning to pick some for us to bring home.

Erilyn's balancing act. She can't walk on a sidewalk without doing it. At least not that I've seen.

I think we're set for grapefruits for a while! Thanks Grampa! The kids loved it, and now they love eating the grapefruit they helped pick!

Yummy!

2010-03-22T22:29:00.000-05:00

Making cinnamon rolls with Gramma.

I love how Erilyn is all decked out. She found that necklace our first day at Gramma and Grampa's house and basically didn't take it off for the next week. Love that girl!